What do I give to the teachers in my life???

Teachers...the remarkable people who instruct and guide my children everyday are due a gigantic, super-gift for the holidays like a new Mercedes tied with a big, red bow!

We can all agree that this is what most teachers deserve, but the reality is even when times are not "challenging" (new buzz word) I couldn't give it to them because as my 2 children get older, there are multiple teachers whom all deserve the Mercedes such as Ms. Barb in the Library, Coach Robin in PE, Mrs. Lamberth in Music, and, of course, Ms. Janet, the school nurse who has served to remind me that I don't necessary HAVE to take my children home each time they are in the nurses office! This rang true when I witnessed my wonderful 6 year old son acting to Academy standards about his "tummy".

Add to that the crossing guards, principals and aides and there are a lot of people surrounding my children! They all deserve some recognition at the holiday season. I am trying to be savvy this season in my gift giving and have come up with some options instead of the Mercedes:

1. Teachers, even the newest ones, probably have enough apples and apple-themed items than they know what to do with.

2. A personal, HAND WRITTEN note from parents and students mean a lot. Try not to have the note be general, like "thanks for all you do", but rather more specific, like when I wrote "...thank you for spending so much time with Mihajla on her comprehension skills. Thanks to you, she is more confident."

3. Go easy on the mugs. While they have many uses in the classroom, there are only so many one human can entertain, even for the most caffeine addicted.

4. The gifts never have to be expensive. Small gift cards are well received like a $5 gift card to the movies may seem small, but if a teacher gets 10 of those, it adds up!

5. Classroom supplies are "all the rage" (although maybe not as pretty). Much of the supplies that teachers need are not covered by the school's budgets or PTO, so maybe you crafty-creative types could figure out a way to make a package of white board markers seem glamorous?

The general theme is that as long as the gift comes from the heart, and you are giving something they want instead of something YOU want, the teacher will most likely accept it with complete gratitude.

Oh, and to Miss Katie, Ms. Jenny and Ms. Brandi - if you wait for that Mercedes with a bow, you may be nearing retirement when I give you a part of it - the BOW!

Trophy Kids: Are We Breeding Sore Losers?

Trophy Kids: Are We Breeding Sore Losers?

While I have tried to keep most of my commentaries and blogs as unbiased and relevant to parenting issues as possible, this is a subject that I know will be viewed as, well, debatable.

My kids are competitive swimmers, as well as into soccer, running, basketball, tennis, etc., but recently at a swim meet I witnessed something that was disturbing. In the freestyle event, a girl rightfully deserving got first place, while another girl, “Laura”, came in 10th. The winner accepted her ribbon with a smile and confusion because although Laura, the winner’s team mate no less, was only 2 seconds off the winner’s time, she proceeded to have a tantrum, breakdown, whatever you want to call it saying, “I want a ribbon too!”

Laura is 9 years old and the epitome of a “trophy kid”, the generation of kids coddled and fussed over by borderline narcissistic parents driven to earn the “my child is an honor student” bumper sticker. We’re giving out “participation trophies”, medals, ribbons and the like for every accomplishment (sometimes just for showing up). When you look at what is really being taught by this constant indulging is that Laura has learned to be a sore loser.

Since when does a 1st place blue ribbon not represent anything different when we give out ribbons for 1st through 21st (out of 21 participants)? What service are we doing to our children by our consistent recognition of mediocrity? Is that the generation that will lead us in the future? Are we really being supportive parents?

David A. Feigley, Ph.D.,Youth Sports Research Council, Rutgers, The State University of New Jersey states that “Supportive parents emphasize improved performance rather than competitive ranking.”

Simply put, we are diminishing the accomplishments of one, only to placate the potential hurt feelings of another. How fair is that to the kids that earn that 1st place ribbon? (and, no, the winner was not my kid, she came in 5th with a lovely black ribbon)

I believe our precious time as parents is better spent teaching our children to support and encourage fellow team members, classmates and the like and learn to say, “You did a great job” and “Congratulations”. Since when are parents, teachers and coaches the only ones allowed to use those phrases? Instead we are raising a generation of kids that feel they are “entitled” to all the accolades and pseudo-standing ovations. We are breeding sore losers instead of promoting one another’s strengths.

And, gasp, this generation, termed “the Millennials”, is filtering into the workforce now. That is a whole other conversation.

My Husband is Still Employed!

We made it one more month! But today with the markets down 777 points, tomorrow may be a different story.

He seems to be getting pretty irritable. This is normal, right?????

Last Friday was 10 years of marriage for us! YEAH!

My First Personal Blog - Will My Husband Lose His Job?

OK, so all of my previous blogs have been about parenting related topics. This is of course normal, given the fact that I publish 2 parenting websites in the Phoenix Metro area. I do a lot of research before ANYTHING gets posted on to the sites to ensure their integrity and so that the users of the site have a reason to come back. That is completely off the topic, though, because I thought that I should probably write about something that so many of us are relating to these days...

The economy has taken it's toll on so many of us, in so many different ways. My websites, for example, are a no-brainer for any business to list/advertise on, but these local businesses are strapped for cash. People are losing their homes, their jobs, and are finding new ways of sustaining their livelihood.

I am a stay at home mom/work from home mom. I have been so fortunate to have been able to leave my career to care for my 2 children. I left a career as an airport operations manager with Northwest Airlines in 2002 after the scramble following 9/11 forced me to relocate and travel extensively in order to cover the gaps in staffing. I just couldn't do it anymore with a baby and toddler and constantly wondering who will watch them tomorrow! So I did it, with the support of my husband, I gave my notice and left the career I absolutely loved. Again, I am unbelievably fortunate to have been able to even consider leaving as an option. My husband did what he needed to do to continue supporting our family. We moved back to where we call home - Arizona - in 2005, at the height of the real estate market.

Yikes. Our options were few and far between. We found a great house, nothing extravagant, in a neighborhood we fell in love with (Ocotillo) with a top-notch elementary school just around the corner. We didn't pay top dollar for the house, but we came darn close. The mortgage payments are high, but with some budget maneuvering and no extravagant purchases, we are able to afford it.

We had been sailing along these last couple of years, completely content with our lives. The kids are both in the great school around the corner, I work from home doing something I love, and my husband is doing something he loves as well...he works as a Land Development Manager for a home builder.

Do you hear the music? Da-da-da-da-da. Screech....eeek! A home builder you say? Yes, a home builder. A fantastic one at that. I won't disclose which one, but let's just say they don't build run-of-th-mill homes. My husband's department was at it's largest, 33 people, there are now only 3. His work ethic, his intelligence, and all of his other wonderful qualities is what saved him from the "axe" thus far. We both decided it wasn't worth our health to worry about when and if he would continue to be employed. We had hoped that we had survived the worst of it. He's been working 10-12 hour days just to cover the work load and to ensure that his work is the best it can be.

Today, though, he called and said his boss gave him some inkling that there is something going down, but he can't discuss it.

Is this it? Will he be done? Out of a job? Unemployed??? He is the best worker out there and for him to lose his job just shows you how horrible things are becoming. Will we have to dip into our savings? What about the kid's college accounts? Do we just stop contributing?

The reality is overwhelming for me. I'll keep you posted on any new developments.

What Mom Really Wants for Mother's Day!

Mother's Day comes around every year and every year, sons, daughters and husbands scramble to find something to buy for the mothers in their life. Mother's Day shouldn't be another one of those "we-have-to-do-something -because-we're-expected-to" days! NO! Mother's Day should actually mean something!

What do most mothers really want on Mother's Day? Very simple, and really very easy: TIME. We mothers (no matter what your age of kids) are craving that very precious gift of a little time off from being at everyone's beck and call and just some time to be the woman inside (remember her?).

It may be some time alone to take a long bubble bath, watch TV without interruption, maybe go shopping. It may not be time alone, but quality time with the family; no work, no running to activities, no visits to friend's or relatives' houses, but just quiet time with the people we hold dear and count our blessings.

While a bouquet or box of chocolates may be easier, today's busy mom really needs love, respect for all she does, and understanding. Some recognition for all we do goes further than the purchases of gifts (that we inevitably see and stress over when the credit card statement comes).

So, to my loving family, give me a hug, don't back talk, and just say "thank you". That one day of peace should last me at least through noon the next day....

Tips for Selecting a Summer Camp Program

Summer camps are fun and education all rolled into one. It’s place where a child can develop new skills, independence and the chance to make new friends. The Valley offers a plethora of great camp options to fit all ages and interests from sports camps to technology camps, as well as camps that cater to children with special needs.

While choosing a camp program for this summer, consider the following:

Day or Residential? Half day and full day camps are great for a child’s first camp experience and are also a good fit for children who don’t like to be away from home. Day camps might help provide reassurance and allow you to get to them quickly in the case of an emergency. Day camps can also be a little easier on the pocket book, while residential camps can get expensive, however, running upwards of $50 to $200 per day.

Type of Camp. Find a program that fits your child’s age and interests. If your child loves sports or art, find programs that offer that activity. Don’t assume that a camp which emphasizes dance, for example, will motivate a child who hasn’t shown much interest in dance in the past.

Cost. When researching the cost of the camp program, be sure to know the total cost. There are sometimes additional charges for activities, meals, transportation or equipment.

Duration. There are day camps where campers attend only during the day for as long as they like. There are also a wide range of overnight camps lasting anywhere from one week to the entire summer. Whatever you decide, be sure to leave a few weeks for them to just “chill”; after going non-stop for the entire school year, they really need at least a week or two with no planned activities to unwind.

Accreditation and Referrals. The American Camping Association (ACA) accredited camps have shown they comply with nationally recognized health, safety and program integrity standards. If you have concerns, consider visiting the camp in person to talk directly to counselors, staff members, and past camp participants.

According to the ACA, more than eight million children attend camp each summer. Consider these topics during your selection process and make summer camp fun for everyone!

Texting Lingo for Parents

Texting: Learn the Lingo, Connect with Your Kids

In general, kids really want to communicate with their parents but on their terms. By aptly and diligently using cell phone options and text messaging, parents can connect with their kids in more meaningful ways. Text messaging is a great alternative because of several reasons:

• Parents get a quick answer to their questions.
• Kids are more apt to respond to text messages.
• You, or they, don't have to worry about tone of voice.
• Texting allows you to enter your child’s world.
• Text messaging allows parents to compose and edit a message before pressing send.
• Texting vs. calling gives kids more space but allows parents to keep in touch as often as necessary.
• Text messaging can also be used to strengthen parent-child bonds, and let kids know that their parents are thinking of them.

According to the standard definition, text messaging is: A brief, electronic message (less than 160 characters) sent and received via a wireless network and viewed on any number of mobile or handheld devices, such as a Blackberry, a cell phone, a PDA, a handy, or a pager. As more and more people send text messages to each other (especially in Europe and parts of Asia), they are increasingly using acronyms and smileys since the screens on mobile devices keep getting smaller and smaller.

So, for all you parents out there ready to enter the generation of texters, here are just a few lingo basics submitted by Valley Teenagers for TXT 101:

ata2ud: attitude
AYT: are you there?
baik: boy am I confused
br@: brat
m8s: buddies
btt: bored to tears
404: clueless/lost
Cofy: coffee
QSO: conversation
LIBBY: Life is Better Because of You
Ly2p: Love you to pieces
Loc8: locate
: smile
Footy: soccer
SOHF: Sense of Humor Failure
W3: Website

There are literally thousands of others out there! Familiarize yourselves with as many as you can and you’ll feel closer to your child and maybe even be considered a “cool parent” (yeah, like that matters).

So, here is my shot at the texting lingo:
“thx 4 readN dis RTcl. parNts r d bst! ck ot my W3”

Translation:
Thanks for reading this article. Parents are the best! Check out my website

Their Views, Our Kids: The 2008 Presidential Candidates' Views on Education

Super “Duper” Tuesday – “Hot Button” Topics for Parents

If you are like me, you are still undecided as to which candidate you feel will be the best choice for President. While I thought I was certain, things happen, and…well I changed my mind (I think). I decided to take a look at the candidates’ positions on a topic that matter most to me and other parents like me across the country, education. “No Child Left Behind” is a “hot button” education topic addressed by the currently-leading candidates. For purposes of length (and not to bore you to tears) I have chosen to highlight only the three leading candidates on each side and their views on the “NCLB” law, as well a few other highlights of their education strategy.

“No Child Left Behind” was signed into law by President Bush in 2002 requiring every state to test students annually. Schools failing to make academic progress over several years could be closed or have their faculty replaced

What the Democratic candidates say:

• Hillary Clinton is calling for a “total change” in the “NCLB” law to allow the states to have more flexibility in measuring student progress.

Clinton proposes to increase the Hope Tax Credit and make it available for 4 years of college instead of the current 2. She also proposes to adjust federal loan programs so students can borrow at lower rates and an expansion of the Pell Grant. Clinton is opposed to school vouchers and outlines a universal Pre-K program through a federal-state partnership.

• John Edwards says the “NCLB” law needs to be “radically overhauled”.

Edwards’ “College for Everyone” program includes: making it a national initiative; overhauling the student load program by allowing students to borrow directly from the Department of Education; simplifying financial aid by eliminating 2/3 of the questions; and hiring a college counselor to help students in low-income high schools choose college-track courses and navigate the admissions and financial aid process.

• Barack Obama was not in office when Congress passed the “NCLB” law. He would like to see more money for schools and to move away from traditional testing that is used to judge schools.

Obama proposes a tax credit for tuition and fees and as well as simplifying the financial aid application process by eliminating the current student aid form altogether. Obama's "Zero to Five" plan seeks to support children and their parents by emphasizing early care and education for infants through “Early Learning Challenge Grants” for states and helping them move toward voluntary, universal pre-school.

What the Republican candidates say:

• Mike Huckabee says that “While there is value in the "NCLB" law's effort to set high national standards, states must be allowed to develop their own benchmarks.”

Huckabee is a strong supporter of public school choice and believes that music and the arts are essential, referring to them as "Weapons of Mass Instruction." Huckabee also highlights the need to test teachers as well as students, replace teachers who aren't competent, and impose reasonable waiting periods for teachers to gain tenure.

• John McCain refers to the “NCLB” law as a “good beginning”, but feels that the law is flawed, particularly when it comes to testing students with disabilities and non-English speaking students.

McCain believes schools can and should compete to be innovative, flexible and student-centered, not safe havens for the uninspired and unaccountable. He believes we should let them [schools] compete for the best teachers, hire them, and reward them. McCain suggests empowering parents with choices to send their children to the school that can best educate them.

• Mitt Romney believes that the “NCLB” law has played an important role in stressing the role of accountability and high standards in improving our schools.

Romney believes the education system works best with more local control of schools. Romney also seeks to provide a Federal tax credit to help with the expenses of parents who home school and pledges to focus efforts in fields like math and science.

Theodore Roosevelt said “In a moment of decision the best thing you can do is the right thing, the worst thing you can do is nothing”. As a parent, it is our responsibility to do the research on the issues most important to us and our families, lead by example and make a choice by voting on Tuesday, February 5^th, or whenever your primary may be!